In the city park there was a statue of a man and one of a women, standing for
at least a hundred years. One day God takes pity on them and decides to give them
life, if only for an hour. The two of them run directly to the bushes. An hour
later they emerge from the bushes, smiling from ear to ear. God is amused and
decides to give them another hour. The man jumps at the opportunity:
"Great, now you hold the pigeon and I'll shit on his head".
<br>
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<br>
Baby polar bear goes to his mother:
<br>
- Mommy, are you a polar bear ?
<br>
- Sure I am, my son.<br>
He goes to play for a while,and comes back:<br>
- Gramma and granpa are also polar bears ?<br>
- But of course dearest.<br>
A little later:<br>
- What about the great-grandparents ? They were also polar bears ?<br>
- Most certainly.<br>
- And me, am I a polar bear ?<br>
- Yes, but why are you asking all this ?<br>
- 'Cuz I'm freezing to death!!!
<br>
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<br>

Q: What's the similarity between a tomato and an
elephant ?
<br>
A: Both are red, except for the elephant.
<br>
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<br>
Q: Why is a crocodile wider than longer ?
<br>
Proof in two steps:<br>
 Step 1. Proof that the crocodile is wider than greener :<br>
    When he lays on his stomach, he is green and wide, but 
    when he's on his back, he's wide, but not green.
    This means he's more wide than green. <br>
 Step 2. Proof that the crocodile is greener than longer :<br>
    A crocodile is longer along his length only, but green 
    at his length and width. Therefore he's more green
    than long.<br>
  From 1. and 2. we can conclude that a crocodile is more wide than
   long. 
<br>
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<br>
A kid comes to the pharmacy and is talking to the
lady at the desk:<br>
- I'd like a box of sexanorm.<br>
- Not for you kiddo, come back when you grow up.<br>
- It's not for me, my granpa told me to get it.<br>
- Oh, okey...here it goes, and tell your granpa to 
  take one every seven days.<br>
<br>
So the kid goes repeating to himself: one every seven days...
one every seven...one every seven...<br>
Gets home and proudly give is his grandfather: <br>
-Here is your medicine and the pharmacist said you need
to take seven every day.<br>
<br>
A few days later the kid goes back to the pharmacy:<br>
- Hey, you're back already ? How did the medicine work ?
  Is your granpa feeling better ?<br>
- Well...yes, he is, but...<br>
- But what ? What happened ?<br>
- Well...gramma died two days later, my mom and sister are
  pregnant, dad went crazy and ran away and
  Lassie is not coming home....
<br>
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<br>
X (a member of your favorite ethnic group) comes back from a 
business trip and finds his wife with Y (another member of your 
favorite ethnic group). He is in shock
and starts yelling : <br>
"For god's sake Y, how could you ...
we grew up together, went to school together...what about all those
games we played, and memories from the army...and our children, 
even they are going to the kindergarten together....<br>
damn it, stop at least while I'm talking to you !!!..."
<br>