Supposedly Real Ads

From Liz O'Donoghue at the office of Sen. Frank Lautenberg, D.-N.J. in Washington.

1. Lost: Small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

2. For sale: An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and drawers.

3. Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

4. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

5. Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.

6. Stock up and save. Limit: one.

7. Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

8. Illiterate? Write today for free help.

9. Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

10. And now the Superstore -- unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivalved inconvenience.

11. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.